Today Iv woken up anxious

Well just as the title said, iv woken up feeling anxiety, shaky, upset stomach 😦

There could be (and probably are) a tone of reasons for this.

  • My period is due any day now
  • I’m nervous about my birthday gathering in 2 days time
  • Iv got kitchen fitters and carpet cleaners in today
  • Iv got an upset stomach which automatically gives me nerves
  • I thought I might be pregnant but now feel like my period is coming so that too has given me very mixed feels. – relived, worries, annoyed and a whole host of conflicting feels.

Iv had this week as holiday and we have been doing the finishing touches on our new kitchen/ dining room and it looks fab so decided to get my close family and a few friends round for my 34th birthday this weekend. But this does trigger anxiety for me. If you have read any of my other blogs, you will know that I get anxiety, panic attacks and Ibs . They all trigger each other and pretty much dictate my life! I don’t really like having people round as my home is my “nest” and my “zone” when I feel ill, I hide out at home and sometimes don’t leave for days. I like my own space and do not want anyone else in my space when I feel ‘off’. So we very rarely have people over. It’s a shame but I’m not very social these days.

It’s a vicious circle. Iv lost many friends of the years as iv become less and less social.

What I should do….

So…. really what I should do today is

  • Carry on with day ie. do the house work, craft , take the dogs out for a walk
  • Talk positive to my self…, “I know why I feel like this, it’s normal, my period is due, it’s not nice but nothing bad will happen” I’m definitely my worst enemy and worst critic as well as being a very negative thinker.
  • Eat
  • Get dressed

“No one is more horrible to me than me”


What I will probably do….

What I should and what my body is telling me I need to do, are two very different things. My instincts tell me I should…

  • Lay down most or all of the day
  • Eat bland food and not too much incase I upset my stomach further
  • Not take the dogs out incase I get an attack of diarrhoea and need the toilet desperately while I’m out
  • Stay hidden in the lounge whilst the kitchen fitter and carpet cleaner are here and long for them to leave
  • Not get dressed and stay in my lounge wear all day
  • Minimum movement so my stomach doesn’t churn
  • Look up my symptoms even though I know what they are and why they are!

So my plan is this….

I will aim to have a reasonably chilled day as I have been working very hard lately but I will also aim to get a few things done around the house, eat as best I can, not over dramatise my feelings and upset stomach. Chat to the work men that come today as well as not shutting myself away panicking. It’s the best I can do today and I’m not going to punish my self about it. I hope , if you feel like this too sometimes, that you will not punish yourself for needing a time out.

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