Still pregnant!! If you have been following my blogs you will know what has been going on throughout my first trimester of this pregnancy. But if you have only just tuned in, here is a quick sum up …
I lost my first pregnancy in May 2019 due to a missed miscarriage only discovered at the 12 week scan. Baby had stopped growing at around 8.5 weeks. I managed to “pass” everything naturally but struggled with bad depression for the next 6-9 months.
I didn’t want to try again for a long while but end if 2020 I felt ready to try again.
I fell pregnant in November 2020 in the second covid 19 UK lockdown
From weeks 6-9 I had very bad (and almost) constant nausea which caused great anxiety, hardly any sleep and lots of tears. I felt so low as I felt so ill. Massive bloating which made me look about 6 months pregnant!
Week 10 I started to feel a bit hey and had breaks in the nausea, had much better sleep most nights and was able to venture out of the house for food shops etc.
Week 11 I was hit again with constant nausea . I started to dread my 12 week scan because of what happened last time. It was like PTSD flash backs of images and conversations from the time I had to lay there in the ultrasound room hearing the sad news. I had my first “ booking appointment” and blood/pee tests with a mid wife and at the end of the appointment I asked her if she would mind trying to have a listen for a heart beat? She reluctantly agreed after warning me that it was very hard to find at this early stage and that I would have to understand that. Well … she found it and I cried so much. The relief was overwhelming.
We had our 12 week scan the following week. Hearing the heart beat was so fantastic but I still doubted it which is crazy.
Our 12 week scan was yesterday. I arrived at the hospital shaking and already having a panic attack. They had changed the way in due to covid and you had to walk all through the hospital which freaked me out even more as it’s a maze of corridors and very little exits so triggered me badly. I managed to find a slightly better way through the hospital and when I reached the checkin desk I was freaking out and ready to run. Luckily the nice lady behind the counter said I could use the closet fire escape to exit from as it wasn’t wired to an alarm, which was right next to us which helped me no end. I managed to get into the scan room and lay there fearing the worst and already tear stained.
The ladies doing the scan where so amazing in how they helped me relax and feel ready to see inside my belly. They had looked at my notes and knew about my last experience. They showed me our baby moving and heart beating, looking great in there. I cried so hard it was almost hysterical. She had to stop as I was shaking all over. I calmed down long enough to start the scan again. We got some amazing pictures as baby was in a fabulous position to be seen.
Feel sick as a dog again today but so pleased. Can’t believe it’s in my belly ! It’s crazy!
Il keep you all updated xx